User blog:Niellepuffs/(Pheilan) All that counts is here and now

I shouldn't have said anything. At the very least, I should not have brought up my rational resistance to the entire concept. I could have gotten what I wanted without arguing her to the point of giving up. But I did.

I should keep such disparities to myself.

The Mists. Some sort of collective hallucination. There are places there, with names like Speldan, Dreaming Bay. Where did they get these names? The Norn believe their shaman walk there even now, seeking out animal spirits for whatever reasons. The humans believe their gods stepped from the Mists at the place of the Artesian Waters in Orr, a place we cannot get to in search of corroborating evidence.

And then there is the Underworld.

Such an odd concept. Under is the place of roots, the place of connection with the world, the place of solidity and reality, where everything around you can be touched and felt. But humans send their dead there. Why? Is it punishment? Is it peace? Is it darkness? They run in fear from the things they believe emerge from the world of the dead.

What do the Charr think? They certainly like the fight. They're certainly excited to recruit more soldiers for their side.

I don't think she understood what I was saying, but then again I'm not sure I did either. I wasn't questioning the reality of any fabric. I was saying that none of those things come from anywhere else, anywhere other. The energy that manifests is energy that has always been on Tyria, not some mystical otherplace in the dreams and imaginations of particularly creative mortals. The energy simply collects itself, resonates and echoes where violent acts have taken place, emotionally violent or actually violent, and so the darkness itself coagulates into something vicious and dangerous.

It is not from anywhere. It is just here, what it always is. There is no door to step through. That is simply the appearance of accumulating power. What she uses is not of somewhere else. She draws it from the here and now.

I'm not sure why I am so reticent to simply open my mind and believe. I think it may have something to do with the sheer ridiculousness of the human pantheon and the Norn concept of animal intervention. One can honor animals and their positive characteristics without embodying them into some great overseeing spirit watching you sleep.

Those beliefs are laughable. A place where souls may travel is less so, but even then, I resist that idea. Why would we go anywhere? We are of this place. We will remain in this place. We will become this place.

Do I have evidence of this? No. Other than perhaps the emptyheadedness of those who push gods and spirits on others. And the logic I feel.

And there's a certain degree of comfort in not having to consider the possibility of something waiting on the other side if there is no other side. The only thing waiting then is what we, the living entities of Tyria, have created through our actions and emotions.

A time before the gods. It is not so difficult for me to imagine. And if there were a place that resonated with importance, it seems likely humans would try to build their idols there. But other than that, not much sense is made by the Priory's insistence on the "temple" having been there since the dawn of the world.

I should find someone to talk to, some books to read. She said she had some. But she has other things I would rather rest my eyes on.